When one parent needs more care than the other can provide, it creates a complex and emotional situation. Many couples hope to age at home together, but health challenges like dementia, mobility issues, or recovery from illness may require one parent to move to assisted living while the other remains independent.
If you’re navigating this transition, you’re not alone. While every family’s situation is unique, there are thoughtful steps you can take to support both parents with empathy and clarity.
Understanding the Situation
It’s common for one spouse to experience a decline in physical or cognitive health while the other remains relatively active and capable. Often, the healthier spouse has been providing informal care at home—but this can become unsustainable over time.
Chronic conditions, falls, post-surgical recovery, and memory-related illnesses are some of the most common reasons one partner may require a higher level of daily support.
How to Talk With Your Parents
Open, honest communication is key. Acknowledge how difficult this transition may be, and allow each parent to express their concerns and emotions.
Focus the conversation on safety, well-being, and how additional care can improve quality of life for both individuals. Reassure your loved ones that moving into assisted living is not a separation, but rather a new way of supporting each other.
Navigating Family Dynamics
Bring siblings and close family into the conversation early. While everyone may have different opinions, involving all stakeholders promotes shared understanding and helps prevent conflict down the road.
Consider Professional Help
If the conversation becomes difficult, a geriatric care manager, physician, or counselor can serve as a neutral third party. Having medical insights can clarify what level of care is truly needed.
Senior Living Options for Couples With Different Needs
Assisted Living for One Partner
The spouse in need of care moves into an assisted living community, while the other remains at home. This option works well if the independent spouse is still driving, socially active, and comfortable living alone.
Living Together in Assisted Living
Many communities offer accommodations where couples can live together—even if only one partner requires care. This option provides security for the care recipient and peace of mind for the caregiving partner, who still has the freedom to live independently.
Split Living
In some cases, spouses live apart but maintain a strong connection through daily or weekly visits. Assisted living communities often support these ongoing routines with flexible visitor hours, shared meals, and special events that welcome both partners.
Planning Ahead: Legal and Financial Considerations
Before making any major decisions, it’s important to ensure your family is prepared with the right legal protections and a clear financial plan.
Start with Legal Documents
Make sure the following are current and accessible:
- Durable power of attorney
- Healthcare proxy or advance directive
- Wills or trusts
- Financial account authorizations
Understanding Financial Impact
Assisted living comes with costs that may be covered by private savings, long-term care insurance, or Medicaid. Consult a financial planner or elder law attorney to help structure shared finances and protect assets.
Adjusting Living Arrangements for Both Parents
If one spouse remains in the family home, small changes can go a long way:
- Add grab bars in bathrooms
- Remove area rugs and tripping hazards
- Improve lighting in hallways and entrances
- Use a wearable medical alert system
Transitioning the Other Parent
When one parent moves to assisted living, involve them in the process as much as possible. Bring familiar items from home—photos, bedding, or favorite décor—to help ease the transition and personalize their new space.
Supporting Emotional Well-Being
The spouse moving into assisted living may feel guilt or anxiety about leaving their partner behind. The one staying at home may worry about loneliness or loss of control. Reassure both that they can remain deeply connected and that this decision supports their shared well-being.
Maintain Shared Routines
Even if they live apart, couples can stay emotionally close through:
- Daily phone calls or video chats
- Shared meals or weekend visits
- Attending community events together
- Celebrating milestones and holidays as a couple
This continued connection supports emotional health and helps both partners adapt to their new normal.
When the Health of the Other Parent Changes
In many cases, the independent spouse may eventually need assistance as well. Choosing a community that offers a full continuum of care—from independent living to assisted living and memory care—makes future transitions easier and more seamless.
When to Consider Assisted Living for One Parent
You might consider assisted living when:
- One parent needs help with activities of daily living such as bathing, dressing, or medication management
- The caregiving spouse is overwhelmed or in declining health
- There are safety concerns such as wandering, falls, or confusion
- A chronic condition is progressing and requires daily monitoring
- You want peace of mind knowing that both parents are supported
Finding Balance for Both Parents in Edina
Deciding what to do when only one parent needs assisted living is never easy. It can bring up complicated emotions and practical challenges—but it can also bring relief, renewed connection, and a better quality of life for both individuals.
At Yorkshire of Edina Senior Living in Edina, MN, we’re here to help you navigate this transition with compassion, flexibility, and personalized support. We offer a variety of living arrangements that allow couples to stay connected—even when their care needs differ. Whether one parent is moving into assisted living or both are considering a new chapter together, we’re here to guide you every step of the way.
Contact us today to schedule a tour and learn more about how we can help your family find peace of mind and the right path forward.
